Lots of funny

[Halan]

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." _- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm_

_"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." _- Alan Minter, Boxer__

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." _- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

__"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." _- Anonymous Manufacturer__

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." _- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL__

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." _- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian__

"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." _- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster__

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." _- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach__

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." _- Bill Peterson, football coach__

"The internet is a great way to get on the net." _- Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate__

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." _- Britney Spears, Pop Singer__

"Football players win football games." _- Chuck Knox, football coach__

"Most lies about blondes are false." _- Cincinnati Times-Star, headline_

_"If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime." _- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President__

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" _- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President__

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" _- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

__"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." _- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President__

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." _- David Acfield_

[Halan]

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity." _- Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House_

_"Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it? _- Harry News, music reviewer_

_"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old." _- Herb Score, Sportscaster__

"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." _- Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons_

_"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever." _- Jennifer Love Hewitt, Actress, in the February Cosmopolitan.__

"We're going to move left and right at the same time." _- Jerry Brown, Governor of California_

_"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." _- Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player__

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." _- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery_

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"It is white."
- George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

"If you think is was an accident, applaud."
- Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning

[Emoir]

Ironic/self contradicting quotes... That was unexpected.

This is what I mean, there are stupid people out there, who just need to be shot... Because they are a waste of air and resources.

[Jedi Master Arlon Kyjar]

[.:.::MEGA::.:.]

nice quotes - here is one that i can think of>>>

"That would have been a goal if the keeper hadn't saved it."
- Brian Moore

[Veran]

[Kentos Fey’lya / Adamis]

Here are a few a friend of my family send us. ;D

LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill
them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

7.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

8.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
Grew up.

18.. Procrastinate Now!

19.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

20.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

21.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

22..They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

23..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.

24.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

25.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and
Wesson.

26.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going
on.

[Pele]