Re: A Spent Force - RotS Review By MEGADETH666

[Jetzt]

*Yawn* Crap review... you speak no truth... you only mean to piss off the peasants!

[Master Bondora]

what a crappy review. You didn't even write that!

[.:.::MEGA::.:.]

indeed i did not write it as i just wanted to see what people would say - i was actuall writing a proper one when i accidently hit that bloody off button on the keyboard and the PC turned off - it kinda pissed me off - so i just got a random 1 and altered it to see what the reactions were

[Master Bondora]

I noticed that the review grammar was too good to be made by you...And the reference to Macbeth was....well...

[.:.::MEGA::.:.]

i was too pissed off that i just got a random one - but i could have written a review like that - because its not like i use proper gramer when im here

[Jetzt]

This final episode of Star Wars is better than the predecessing two in some ways. There are more spectacular planetscapes and sophisticated special effects, including more wookies then you could shake a lightsaber at.

Indeed...

There's more human dramatic conflict on display, there are no long, boring senatorial meetings and the dreded Jar Jar Binks has been reduced to a non-speaking role.
But Episode III has precisely the same faults as I and II - terrible dialogue abd worse acting - to which it adds a couple of defects: a confusing lack of geographical sence and tendancy to leave gaping plot holes (at one point Obi-Wan Kenobi start riding a gigantic dinosaur, and i still dont konw where it came from).

Read the book... too little time to add it in the film. That isnt a dinosour, its the Boga... a kind of a lizard.
And I cant allow you to insult the actors, they did fucking well... they were just let down by the script.

The main job of this episode is to explain how and why Obi-Wan Kenobi's apprentice Anakin Skywalker betrays his fellow Jedi knights, moves to the dark side and embraces the identity of the Sith Lord Darth Vader.
The one well-acted sequence is when the villan of the piece is trying to win him over. Ian McDiarmid (looks like the pope) actually manages to impart some subtelty to the Chancellor Palpatine, and his Iago-like shiftiness dominates not only that scene, but the entire episode.

Yes.

The only other character to make an impact is Yoda, who has one great moment when, with not much more than a contemptuous shrug of his shoulders, he dispatches 2 imperial guards; but this bit of physical comedy also gets the biggest laugh in the film, which will tell you how painfully lacking in wit and humour the rest of it is.

Maybe you missed the first hour of this film?

All of the mew characters are wonderfully uninterestig. Even the four-armed Android leader General Grievous is a bore.

Android? LMAO! Grievous is an alien who, like Vader, was so scared that he needed to be placed in a "suit".

He is given little to do before Obi-Wan Kenobi causes him Grievous Bodily Harm, except laugh fiendishly and breathe with enormoud difficulty (What is it with George Lucas and heavy breathing? Was he once mugged by an asthmatic?).

In the clone wars, Grievous was pretty fucked up by Mace Windu.

One major credibility problem is that Anakin supposedly turns evil in order to protect his wife Padme from death; and Christensen simply does not have the acting chops to suggest a young man who's that head-over-heals in love.

Dont even get me started... Hayden was outstanding in this film, a huge improvement from EP2.

I'm not sure any actors could have been triumphed over would-be heart-tugging dialogue such as:
(Anakin to Padme) "You're so beautiful."
(Padme to Anakin) "That's only because I'm in love."

Lucas' bad writing... the actors did their best to not make it look too stupid... and they did a good job of it.

But the piece demands a young actor who could make a responsible stab at playing Macbeth. Christensen simply never suggests the deep mental corruption necessary to turn him from a wimoy romantic lead into a mass-murderer of children. Even at his darkest, Christensen beneath his hoody resembles a moody tennager, deprived of a proper education.

If this was an EP2 review, I could see your point... but Vader is more than just a moody teenager, that is more than obvious.

If Christensen is poor, Ewan McGregor is abysmal. So flat are his line readings that at one point it crossed my mind that he had fallen out with George Lucas and was deliberatly trying to show just how terrible his lines were.

OK thats just wrong... Ewan is the best actor in the film

Even when threatening others ("You won't get away with this Dooku!") he sounds as uninterested as it is possible to be. And his timing when delivering Han Solo style wisecracks is way off.
Much of his dialogue souds as if it's been revoiced by Keanu Reeves. And in a sequence taking place on molten lava, McGregor forgets to look slightly warm.

Maybe you missed the "You were the chosen one!" Speech.

Lucas has one mildly interesting political point to make, how would be dictators use wars to gain themselves power (remind you of anybody?)

*Cough* Bush...

But any parallels with the modern world are purposely left vague and get lost amid all the lightsaber fighting, which indeed were good but were slightly repetative and took up too much time.
Revege of the Sith is the darkest and the least child-friendly of the six episodes - which given it's subject matter, was probable inevitable - but it's also not as much fun.

I wont argue with that...

And there's practically no light relief, which makes it a very long two and a quarter hours. Not even R2-D2 and C-3PO get a decent gag between them.

R2 vs Battle droids? You didnt find that remotly humerous?

I found the whole thing a colossal disapointment. George Lucas has always been a wretchedly incompetent writer of dailogue but he's just about got by in the past through being a master of narrative structure.
Here, his dialogue is more banal than ever (why on earth, or whatecer planatery system they're on didn't he get a co-writer?) and even his sence of structure has largely deserted him.
Since I always knew where the story was heading and guessed all too accurately how it would get there, I found it deeply unimaginative.

God, why? He brough some thought to it... normally someone would have just had Vader killing people with no though... at least Vader does it for the woman he loves.

It's also a little illogical. Although there's a long cinematic fight between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader, ending in the wounds that cause Vader's starteling transformation into a mat at least six inches taller and breathing with difficulty througha black mask, there's no real explanation of why Obi-Wan just doesn't finish him off while he is at his mercy.

Obi-Wan doesnt want to turn against the Jedi code... not only that, Anakin was he best friend. "You were my brother, I loved you"

For all the hype, this is a film that only the most uncritical fans of Star Wars will truly enjoy.
If Lucas had made this series in chronological order, I suspect we would never have seen Episodes IV, V and VI - which would have been a pity, for I am an admirer of the series especially the episodes which have Harrison Ford to lend a welcoming edge of cynicalism and sex appeal.

Gay brea...
Anyways if EP1 was released in '77 it would have blown them away! Those special effects!!!

STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH
Verdict - (from the sayings of Yoda) - To be disappointed, prepare you should.
5/10

Ha, that was the worst review in history!... actually I take that back, RollingStones was worse.

[.:.::MEGA::.:.]

well you are cussing the reviewing skills of Chris Tookey - not mine as mine fucked up